i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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