The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
