It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
