Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
