I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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