Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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