are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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