You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
4 words: hood of his car
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
