I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
