i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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