I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
