Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
