so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
