An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
