UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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