There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
