i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
