you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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