you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
