i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize