My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
