I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
