If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
