dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
