I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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