maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
