We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
