he shaved USA in his pubs
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
