Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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