I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
There's even glitter on my cock...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
