apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
