Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
