Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
