I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
