he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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