lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
