Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got inside last night via doggy door
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
