So drunk its hurt
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
