i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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