Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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