I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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