That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
