there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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