Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
