smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
