I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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