GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
