Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You peed on a flamingo?!?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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