just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
