3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
