Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
