Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
