You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I puked a lego.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
