dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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